Nicks Carrot Coma
by yorkielover123
Summary: one shot about nick and brothers


Nick Jonas woke up one morning, or should I say afternoon, wanting a nutritious delicious snack "yup I think ill have a carrot." Kevin walked through the door and he was all like "oh no you didn't that was my carrot!" then nick choked on the carrot.

He then went into a coma and has not moved for a little more than 3 years. Then on the 23rd day of the 3rd year he awoke. When the doctor came in he told Nick he needed to drink a can of carrot juice, and as soon as the doctor finished asking him Nick attacked Him with a giant pookie (thnx Garfield lol) that Renee Fooply (a crazed fan of Nick's) had sent him on the 2nd day of his tragic incident that was now referred to as "carrot coma."

The nurse contacted his family and they came rushing to his feet, of course now that he was no longer needed in the band because his little bro took his place but he still had some meaning to the family…. maybe. Well at least he had good hair. But when they found out his use to be cute and puffy hair was now flattened he became just as important as a big comfy comforter in 100-degree weather. (In case you didn't know because you have no life and don't get these kind of somewhat jokes it means he is useless and that he is no longer needed in the family.)

"Nick sweet heart there is a call for you. Are you up to taking it?" the old and smelly nurse asked Nick after his family left. I mean they had no point to stay considering they had already sold all his things on ebay because they thought he was dead for 3 whole years. (Yes they gave up hope after the 23rd day.)

"Sure, why not, unless its that Rennay I mean she is creepy she has called like 69.2 times since I woke up and she was HAPPY when she found out that her pookie was used to attacked the doctor which by the way I am really sorry about, I didn't know where I was." Nick responded.

"Oh don't worry its not her here's the phone doll face." The nurse said with a creepy looking smile that made nick answer the phone with a scared and shaking umm hello?

"Hello nick I am dr. doofoo's wife and I just wanted to let you know that you are going to court because my husband is dead." Click she hung up. "Wow stupid wife cant she take it was a mistake as an answer I hate life…and Rennay for giving me the stupid murder weapon who could think a stuffed animal would kill someone."

"Well doll face if she was happy about her pookie being used to attack a doctor she will be overjoyed when she finds out it killed him." The doctor said flirtatiously (the nurse that is like 98, lives with her son, has 23 cats, eats out of the waste basket and isn't really a nurse, she works at the Wendy's in the hospital but has a crush on nick so she is pretending to be his nurse.)

Nick starts laughing "maybe we should tell her then she can jump off a cliff of happiness" the nurse turns and leaves but turned around at the door way and says "hey my names Katie and my number is on your side table," wink "call me doll face " she flips what she has left of her gray hair and leaves. "Wow" is all nick could say "ok call you later" winks back mostly out of pity. (Or at least I hope it was out of pity…ewww…)

"OMG how can I defend myself from a murder case? I need a lawyer and all that other stuff you need to take to court and my family wont even support me…oh man." Nick complains to himself. Just then Katie walked into his room,

"I can be your witness and I can give all the support you will ever need." Wink.

"Umm…thanks for the offer but…umm…well… I think I got it covered all I need is a REALLY good lawyer." Nick dodged a bullet…or so he thinks.

"I can be a really good lawyer and much more" then she bent down and kissed his cheek and left the room "call me for a lawyer and a fun time" then she was gone with one last wink over her shoulder "oh my frekin' freak its official she is crazy and in love that is a bad combo" nick muttered to himself.

Just then a very pretty stewardess ran in and screamed "Pina Caloda anyone?" Nick shook his head in an "oh my gawd!!!!" kind of way. "Why is everyone so freakin creepy in this hospital?" he screeched. The stewardess went around the room is her insanely short shorts with her ego barely staying in her tight tube top. She straightened her hat and set down the drinks. "Have a nice day! Oh and if you want to request me my name is Danielle. But I'm nawt here on Thursdays, that's when I go dancing." And she left.

"Nick time for your sponge bath, NICK WAKE THE FRIKIN' UP!" sweet little Katie shoved nick out of bed. "Its time for you sponge bath J"

"Umm I am a big boy so I can take my baths but thanks for the offer…I think?" Nick dodged yet another bullet.

"Don't forget my offer though i'm always happy to help those in need especially if they need help bathing" wink wink "uh…um…I'm ok thanks…. no need I can still walk" Nick said then thought thank god. "Wait Nurse Katie?" "Yes?" "I am not interested." "Oh Nickypoo I know you are interested, I understand, let your true feelings out!" "I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!" nick yelled the first thing that came into his mind. "Oh really? Then whets her name?" Katie questioned

"Her name is…umm… Danielle ya that's right Danielle." Nick thought of his most recent dream about the stewardess Danielle.

"Sniff well I am sure she is a wonderful for you to be dating you but have you talked to her in 3 years?"

"Yes she was an old friend and she came with my family after I beat down the doctor and we became a couple." Nick lied.

"Sniff sniff well now I am sure she is a beautiful red neck women. Have a happy life not!" Katie stormed out trying to hide the tears but she does a horrible job. The next day Nick woke up hungry as usual so he decided to go down to the hospitals Wendy's when he walked through the door he noted a familiar gray blob "uh oh not here of all places"

Then she turned around "welcome to Wendy's what would you oh no not you don't you have other places to annoy me" she said into the microphone.

"I thought you were a nurse? But anyway you know I bet your boss would not be happy to know that you are treating a customer like this will she?" Nick snapped at her " I am taking my business else where, like Arby's and I will write a strongly worded letter with your name in it. Any way I already went to 5 other restaurants but they were all closed so I am forced to eat at this dump! Who likes salads anyway, plus your frosties taste like crap! Have you ever eaten one of those things? It's like eating a piece of poop out of Frankie's butt!!!" he countered. "Well than you can go lick the underside of a dumpster 'cause that's how you make me feel!" she also countered.

Nick stormed out of the hospital entirely and out on the streets to find a more respectable fast-food restaurant (weird combo huh?). He turned a corner and came face to smelly dirty face with a hobo. "Ummmmm h-h-hello?" Nick stuttered. "Heyyyyyyy I'm Michal, I'm a pirate arrgh! Do you know any good food places around here that do not cost that much?" Michal asked. "Nope." He answered, but I can treat you to a meal if you want." "N'kay".

"Hey so how does Ihop sound?" Nick asked nicely

"It sounds ok but I hate pancakes. Oh but I love eggs sunny side up with a side of bacon and hash browns oh and with a glass of home made orange juice. Oh this may sound weird but I like a lemon wedge on my glass and don't forget the toast." Michal said all snotty.

"I try to do something nice for a hobo and this is what I get! Screw you I am getting me some pancakes!" Nick snapped like an alligator.

As nick ate his chocolate chip pancakes Danielle pulled up a chair and sat next to him. "This elephant ear is the best! How are you pancakes?"

"Good hey isn't it Thursday aren't you a little busy today with…something (wink wink)?"

"Oh ya I quit, I think it is absurd how they treat women in those clubs. Anyway don't you just love my new tank?"

"Umm ya I love it? The color brings out your eyes." Nick snickered. She looked down at her baby blue tank and Nick looked into her brown eyes. She smiled "Thanks! I absotively posolutely ah-dore it too, and it's matching purse!" He smiled back. She is finally back the slightly dumb blonde he knew before, or well sort of knew.

"I got to get back to the hospital. You coming?" "Nah, I quit there too. I hate the outfit they made me wear. It smelled like old people and soap!" "Ok well I'll see you around. Bye" "Bye-bye Nicky!"

"Nick so you finally chose to come back, I mean you are only let's see…3 hours late. And because you chose not to come back on time you lost your going out privileges, and NO buts!" Nicks new nurse ordered.

Nick was about to speak but then something happened…peter cottontail hopped right onto his bed and began to sing "here comes peter cottontail, hopping down the bunny trail" but then Santa walked into the room "someone has been a naughty boy this year…someone with the last name Jonas, and first name…Kevin! Anyway I thought you might want to know that in the north pole its snowing well hohoho merry Christmas everyone" and he flew off and when he was out of sight peter opened his big mouth again "did you know that Easter is the best holiday ever don't listen to Santa he had a little to much cocoa if you know what I mean." Then all of a sudden he disappeared and in his place was Danielle shaking his body to death saying "Nick come on wake up we need to get you out of here…NOW!"

"Come on Nick now" she said again this time more urgent, "There's a lady down in the lobby that is all, like, weird. She was walking through the lobby with a gun and was asking where your room was. Come awn!!!!" she got up and walked to the door, "You coming or nawt?" she questioned.

"I can't," Nick said, "Why?" she asked, "I want breakfast and it doesn't start until 11:00! And today is Pancake Day please can we stay, I am sure they'll let you have some. J"

"Ugh nick cant you see that pancakes can wait do you want to live or die with a mouthful of pancakes?" she reasoned "some old lady in a butt ugly Wendy's outfit was stalling her but something tells me it wont last very long. Come on!!!!!!"

"Umm ok? But where are we going? I mean my family will probably help her kill me so that takes out my house." Nick asked.

"Anywhere but here now come on!" Danielle grabbed his arm and pulled him out the door. Meanwhile down in the lobby the strange lady with a gun was getting impatient "let me go see Nick he is my br…I mean he is my friend!"

"Not if I have anything to do with it!" Katie pulled out a mini flamethrower and burned the lady's legs. She fell to the ground and her hair fell of. When Katie looked more carefully she noticed it was a wig and that under it was Joe Jonas.

"I can not believe it, I just killed Joe Jonas." Katie whispered to herself.

"DUDE! You killed my brother!!!" Nick ran down the stairs to his brother's side. "Are you okay Joe?" "No! My legs are paralyzed." Joe squeaked. "Help me get up." Nick pulled his brother up of the ground the blood from this legs falling to the ground like the tears of a broken heart. (O.k. intermission time. If you don't get it so far stop reading and get your lazy butt off the computer and go play outside for an hour. O.K if you do get it so far then this is why Joe came with a gun to the room: The family was going to let him back in the band because all the fans missed him so as a present they bought him a gun because all the boys were going on a hunting trip as a celebration of his return. Why he was dressed up as a woman, well it was a surprise so he was going to rip off the wig and shout surprise.).

Joe explained why he was really here as the E.R medics rushed in to take him for immediate surgery. Nick was crushed.

"I am sorry but you have to leave only doctors from this point." The nurse told nick and Danielle as the closed the door on them.

"That is it I HATE Katie she almost killed my brother, murderer!" Nick and Danielle waited in the waiting room (well what else are they going to do, not wait? I mean it's a waiting room people are meant to wait ok back to the story.) for like ever but when the doctor came back he told Nick the news about Joe. "The damage was bad very bad, we did our best…. he will be ok but we have to amputate one of his legs. I am sorry we really did the best we could oh and one of the interns cut off a piece of his hair to sell on ebay, sorry about that. Well look on the bright side he isn't dead oh but his other leg needs some staples and screws, which will cause a lot of pain but oh well what you going to do? Oh and if you want his leg back, too bad its mine!"

"Wait so does that mean he like didn't died? Or does it mean he is like dead?" Danielle asked confused. "He is going to be ok but only have one leg, better than none."

Nick sighed, I would rather have him in pain than dead he thought. He looked at the doctor "What time will he be released?" he asked. The doctor took a moment to himself and looked at Nick and Danielle. "The surgery ends at about 2:00 and it's," he glanced down at his watch "12:00 right now and he will have to stay over night for monitoring and we might keep him another hour in the morning to sign auto graphs so he will most likely leave this time tomorrow as for you, Nick, you can leave. Your time is done."

"Sweet!" Nick exclaimed. Just then a bullet came zipping by and hit the doctor. He fell to the ground. Nick and Danielle crouched down to check his pulse. He was dead. Just then another bullet zipped by, luckily Nick and Danielle were down on the ground. A crazy lady with a putrid brown bob and too much perfume ran in. "You killed my husband!!!" the lady screamed. Nick recognized her voice. It was the lady from the phone wayyyyyyyy earlier. "I am going to kill you Nick Jonas!" she shrieked.

Out of nowhere came a flying pig he looked at nick and said, "oink" then flew away but as he flew something dropped out of his butt. Danielle yelled, "Oh crap eww it pooped sick, gross!"

"Wait that's not poop that's Pookie" Katie Noticed and threw the butt pookie to nick "do your magic doll face" Katie yelled from her place at the Wendy's cash register. "Will do!" nick yelled as he smacked Jessica (the crazy lady) across the face. After about 15 minutes and a bunch of whacks she was down for the count. "WOO HOO!!!" Danielle screamed, "You go Nicky! LYLAB!" That night they all fell asleep on a bench outside. The next morning Nick was up first. He ran in the hospital and sat in the waiting room. The new doctor wheeled Joe out of the room in a wheel chair. "Hey Nick! I'm all bett-ouch! Well not all better. My leg is still hurting. I should write a song about that. My leg hurts real real bad, my leg hurts and I am so sad. Yeah Yeah Yeah!" Joe sang. Nick

got up and hugged his brother. "I am so glad you are okay." Nick said. "Yeah me too." Joe hugged back.

Kevin walked in and sat down. Nick and Joe looked over "What are you doing here Kevin?" Kevin looked back at them "I have blood tests at 1:00. By the way you owe me a carrot Nick."

"Kevin, you can have all my carrots or the rest of my life, who cares if they help your eye sight I'd rather have glasses then be in a coma for 3 years." Nick joked "oh and this is Danielle she has helped me with stuff like when I needed a nice beverage."

"Oh Nick you are growing up you went from 16 to 19 without the whole experience." Kevin laughed. " Oh you sure did miss a lot in those 3 years. I am glad to see your hair has puffed up again."

"Yah but I did learn that I will never eat a carrot again!" Nick chuckled.

Kevin strattled his legs and bent down to grab a carrot out of his backpack. "Yum" he mouthed. He gave the rest to Nick to hold for a little bit.

"Carrot anyone?" Nick gestured.

"I'll take one." Danielle reached over and plucked a carrot from Nick's gentle grip.

Just then there was a loud bang and Nick woke up from his carrot coma dream to find himself on the couch with a half eaten carrot and an angry Kevin standing over him, "that's my carrot, not cool man, not cool."

"Here take it I don't want to be in a coma!" Nick chucked the carrot at Kevin.

"What ever * munch munch *" Kevin then ate the carrot. Nick got up and said, "a lot can happen because of a carrot! Trust me I would know!"

THE END

P.S. Nick Jonas is Danielle's so back off J


End file.
